Medical Questions & Answers

Imagine being born with the ability to be happy. Yes, it’s possible, there might be those lucky babies who have it in-built into their systems to be happy. This was illustrated by watching two identical twins brought up separately under different environments, displaying the same levels of happiness. Research is increasingly indicating that there is a happiness set-point that each of us is born with. But, there’s more to raising babies than just luck or heredity. The role that nurturing plays and the opportunity that nurturing offers all parents to contribute to their babies’ disposition is what needs to be taken note of.

Nurturing Begins in the Womb…

A happy mom communicates her feelings to her baby nestling in her womb through the amniotic fluid. Research is establishing a connection between a mother’s state of mind and that of her baby’s disposition. She has already begun bonding and sharing her life with her baby and they are both comrades-in-arms — mom and baby. Her happiness hormones create an environment of calm and bliss for the baby to grow in. Your baby’s learning and thinking process begins while she is still in the womb. There’s an incredible, instinctual mechanism that’s revved up when a baby and the mother are put together. In a foetus these responses seem primitive, but they are responses all the same. While we may be under the impression that the womb is a quiet, cosy little place where peace reigns supreme, things couldn’t be further away from the truth. Actually, life in the uterus is noisy and unsettling. Mama’s voice resonates deep within, her organs provide their own cacophony of sounds—gurgling, pumping, beating. This riotous world acquaints the foetus to sounds, tastes and smells. She is already prepared to face the world outside with a distinct personality of her own.

Born with a Temperament…

Your baby then emerges into the outside world with certain personality traits and temperamental vagaries. She is born with a bundle of reflexes like grasping, rooting, sucking — that help her respond to stimuli from the outside world. No sooner does she arrive before she is furiously communicating with you — her first cry is her battle cry and there’s no stopping her then. The flailing of her arms, her legs energetically moving to some in-built rhythm, the expressions flitting on and off her little face like a bunch of colourful butterflies…..she is giving you all the cues that she can, about her feelingsa nd emotions. Catch them if you can. Understanding your baby’s signals will take you into her temperament like nothing else can. Figuring out what makes your baby happy, besides being held and fed, is a matter of trial and error, patience and effort. Babies have a mind of their own. Not everything will work’on every baby — and not every method will work on the same baby all the time. They have a range of expressions in their repertoire to communicate their message. It is up to the parents to read the unique signals about what she needs. Discovering what your baby responds to with happiness is an interesting, illuminating and extremely satisfying pro¬cess. Reading, research, guidance et cetera are all supportive to your own findings.

‘Happy’ Smiles

Genetic influences on traits like intellect have long been debated but recent research in the West suggests that a child’s capacity to be happy may also be inborn. Even a newborn baby seems to smile every now and then — that slight puckering of the lips, the cheeks pulled up a little, a brief expression of happiness, and that fleeting smile is gone. While you try hundreds of little tricks to make her smile again, she will not oblige quite that easily. A newborn’s smiles are often just movements of the facial muscles, in reflex, more often than any desire to please. Anything from tingling nerves in the tickled sole of the foot, to contracting bowels could make your baby ’smile.’ It is only after the age of three months or more that your baby begins to respond to eyes, and her responses become more selective. That is when she starts to bestow her genuine smiles for special people — Mama, usually, being the most special of them.

Does Constant Crying Equal Unhappy Baby?

Although, you cannot think of your baby as an unhappy little person, she might make you begin to wonder. But her crying is not really a sign of protest or unhappiness. Your baby’s crying is only her means of communicating with you. It’s nature’s way of ensuring that the baby who completely depends on you for her welfare, is not ignored. Soon you will be able to distinguish between the cry that means, “I’m hungry” and the one that means, “I need a diaper change.” Responding to your baby’s needs communicate to her that she is being properly attended to. It is very important to understand and respond to your baby’s cries promptly. If you regularly fail to respond, the baby may not only feel powerless, but worthless. In fact, studies have established that babies whose mothers respond to them promptly in infancy, cry less as toddlers. Babies who do not get enough attention in the early months are liable to become more demanding when they grow up. Responding with a loving touch and fulfilling her need of the moment, will be the beginning of your loving and happy relationship with her.

Developing the ‘Happy’ Sense

Since a newborn’s faculties are largely under-developed, her sense of the world is limited to what she can feel and her tactile sense is the most well developed of all. The drastic difference in the environment and temperature within the womb and the outside world would all come as a shock to the tiny infant. That is why you must ask your doctor if you can hold your baby immediately after birth. Research has shown that the most sensitive period for bonding is the first hour of life. There is no question that all aspects of the bonding process — your voice, smell, touch, caress, heartbeat — are good for the baby, and also good for you. Studies have shown that a baby’s adaptation is easier, smoother and more comfortable when she is held, soothed and given an opportunity to feed at will. And, what is good for your baby is also good for you. The sooner you touch, hold and caress your baby, the more quickly your bleeding will cease, the more strongly your uterus will contract down and the better your breasts will respond with the let-down of colostrum and later, milk.
Later, after the initial cleaning, your baby is snugly swaddled in a baby sheet to make her feel secure. Babies feel good and happy when held snugly in the mother’s arms. According to child specialists, if babies are not physically touched and kept close, they tend to get irritable, and if this continues into early childhood, later on they may turn out to be morose in nature. So, touch your baby, caress her often, play with her fingers and give her massages along with the traditional methods of singing to her and breast-feeding—as they are all known to help in the optimal emotional development of the baby. Rocking, swaying, walking with the baby in your arms are motions that she’ll enjoy tremendously. Cuddling and holding babies close even affects the development of motor skills. Doctors ask parents to touch their babies in the intensive care unit, where premature babies are kept, as it is essential for their bonding and in having a child with a happy disposition.

Environment of Content

You need to get intimate with your baby and her world; make her feel secure in the immediate environment surrounding her so that she feels happy and cherished. Security breeds contentment and happiness, and nothing makes a baby feel more secure than a predictable day-to-day routine. You don’t have to have a strict schedule but loving routines — a nightly bath, a song, a cuddle it. the rocking chair — whatever you establish as your baby’s daily routine, are important for the welfare of the baby. Babies need predictability in their lives even before their first birthday. It teaches them that they can depend on the world, and knowing what will happen next leads to a better sense of trust in both the parent and the immediate environment.

Bonds of Happiness

For baby’s happiness, it is very important for the parent to enjoy infant care. Your baby does not only want to be fed and given a bath on time. She would like to be fed by someone who enjoys feeding her, someone who ensures temperature of her bath-water is just right, who talk her as they take care of her. According to child psychologists, if you are enjoying the activities the child can feel it, otherwise the whole procedure becomes totally mechanical. Related to this is the concept of a secure base. It is important to give the baby a strong foundation in the early months. If there is one person who takes care of the baby, she would feel secure, loved and happy. There should not be too many changes in terms of the person who takes care of her. Otherwise, the baby is bound to feel confused and this could hamper normal bonding and attachments to take place. Keep her company, amuse her and introduce her to the world. At the same time, give her the freedom to explore the world in her own way and at her own pace.

The Balancing Act

Babies like to have space for themselves. Constantly hovering around the baby will deprive her of the chance to look for and find diversions for herself elsewhere. It could hamper your baby’s ability to play and learn independently later on. The goal of successful parenting in raising a happy child is to guide the baby to achieve his mental and physical well-being. This does not require special knowledge, or skills, it’s just an attitude in parents. Attention to the baby’s wants, needs and activities is necessary to formulate action to help her grow and develop into a happy individual. However, excessive attention can only be an inhibiting factor to the baby’s happiness. If parents provide the baby with all the external stimulation, it can have the negative effect of restricting the growth of the baby’s potential and may lead to behaviour patterns like excessive dependence, clinging behaviour, inability to get along with others, introversion et cetera. Your baby, as she grows, does need company. She begins to remain awake for a longer period and does not like the idea of lying alone. However, she would not mind being left to herself for a short while. So, give her love, care for her but also give her space for herself.

Positive Strokes

If you are happy — your baby will sense this and be a part of that happiness. So make baby ‘work’ a pleasure and not a chore. It is not really getting though or getting by that is important as much as enjoying and cherishing every moment with your baby. Moci of us get too bogged down by all that must be done for a baby, to really enjoy our baby to the fullest. To think of it as just changing nappies, feed times, naps and visits to the paediatrician would be to take all the pleasure away from it. Instead, enjoying whatever you do with her will certainly take the stress out of it and make you happy. And what makes you happy, as we said already, makes your baby happy too.

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