Aversion of Sex After Abortion
My wife had an unfortunate abortion at around 4-6 weeks pregnancy. We were having sex and my condom slipped because of which she got pregnant. As we were not ready for the child at this time, she underwent an abortion. Since then, she has lost interest in any physical relation with me. Is there any cure for this problem? Is there any medicine available for females to increase sexual desire?
There are no medicines to increase sexual desire in women. Your wife underwent the physical and psychological trauma in the process of getting pregnant when she was not ready and then getting the medical termination of pregnancy done. This has caused an apprehension in her about sex. She requires some more time to recover from the trauma. Have patience. Give her some more time to come to terms with the traumatic experience that she has gone through. Be gentle and loving towards her. It will help her recover faster and be ready for physical intimacy again.
I will be getting married soon, but when I was courting my fiancée, I found that she was not getting aroused. In spite of my best efforts, I was not able to arouse her and she was not affected by my touch. Is it normal?
It seems that you are entering into an arranged marriage. If this is so, then what you are facing is a common problem. You are probably going too fast. The sexuality of a woman is predominantly heart-centered. She needs to feel emotionally close to you for her to get aroused. I would advise you to go slow with your caressing as she maybe feeling shy and awkward. Instead, you could win her heart by romancing her. Instead of being hasty physically, try to understand her hesitation. This will make her feel emotionally close to you. When this happens, she will be more than willing to share intimacy with you. If, after implementing my advice, you still feel that things are not warming up between the two of you, then a counseling session with a good sex counselor would be in order. This would take care of any myths or misconceptions that she may be carrying about physical intimacy. Also give her an opportunity to come up with her queries, if any.
I am 24 and my wife is 19. We are married for one year. How can I change my wife who always finds excuses to evade physical intimacy on the pretext of being busy?
It is important to understand why she needs to evade physical intimacy. Is it because she has been left unsatisfied or has had painful experiences of the sexual act with you? Is it because of fear of pregnancy? Is it because she disapproves of the kind of sexual behavior you demand? Is it because she considers the sexual act sinful or dirty? Is it because she has been a victim of sexual abuse? Is it because she has unresolved emotional issues with you and so cannot give in to intimacy without resolving them? Is she unwell? Is she overworked and too busy with the home and children? Is she involved with someone else? Does she have lesbian tendencies? All this needs to be explored with your wife. I suggest that both of you approach a relationship counselor to get to the bottom of the matter.