I have a persistent itching problem near my vagina for last one year, esp on the exteriors of the flaps. When I applied Candiderma cream in the area the itching stopped for a while. However, last month I again felt the sensation. I now lubricate those areas either with coconut or olive oil on a regular basis, otherwise it gets dry, turns red and develops cuts. During menstruation its fine. Till date I have no problem with passing urine. Sometimes I also notice a white velvety coating in those areas. Is it an early sign of diabetes or anything serious?

From the description of your symptoms it appears like you have a fungal infection, but without an examination one cannot be certain. It would be ideal if you can consult your gynaecologist at the earliest. Meanwhile you can
1. Get a blood sugar test done(since you have family history of diabetes).
2. Take a course of oral antifungals like Forcan 150 mg, one tablet once a week for 3 weeks, when you notice the white  flaky discharge.
3. Apply Canesten S cream after washing the area, twice daily for 7 days.
4. Drink plenty of water, buttermilk or curd to improve the pH balance in the area and allow good bacteria to grow.

I was on the Pill for nearly 10 years. After that, for a couple of years, I had periods which were at best. I may see them for three months at 26-day intervals, then 36-day intervals. Later they would disappear for 3 months at a stretch, then reappear. Throughout the year I had only 3 to 4 periods and in next year I saw no periods at all. My questions:
1. Have I reached menopause? If yes, then am I not too young for menopause? Is this normal?
2. Apart from the lack of periods I haven’t experienced any other symptoms of menopause, barring the occasional’Hot Flash’.
3. If the symptoms indicate menopause, does this mean that sex without a condom is safe now? (We’ve been using condoms ever since I got off the Pill.)
4.Are there any tests to tell whether a woman has reached menopause, just like they have for pregnancy?
From the details of your history, it does sound like you are on the brink of menopause. However, whether or not your fertility has completely regressed, can only be confirmed with a few hormonal test like S.F.S.H. and S.L.H. and Estradiol levels. 45 is not too early, as the average age of menopause is gradually lowering in these modern days.
Regarding condom use, there have been the occasional case where a woman has ovulated inspite of not menstruating regularly, and gotten pregnant. I suggest that you visit your gynaecologist for an intra uterine contraceptive device (IUD) or continue using condoms till you have no period at all for at least 18 months. Also have a sonography done to check the uterine lining for thickness and the ovaries for their size, and for presence or absence of any signs of ovulation. Menopause is the beginning of a new phase of life. You can enjoy it by maintaining your exercise and watching your diet. It’s good that you are not exhibiting any classic symptoms of menopause. An active life with regular exercise and normal diet definitely helps. Many women tend to neglect this aspect and gain a lot of weight. Also you must visit your doctor at least once a year for a regular PAP smear, breast check and, if required, a bone densitometry. Monthly self breast examinations are also a good idea.