If my boyfriend loves me as much as he insists, why does he flirt with pretty much every woman who crosses his path? He’ll flirt with our waitress; he’ll flirt with my friends-he even flirts with my mother! I’ve told him that it bothers me, but he says that it’s just who he is and he would never, ever cheat on me. But watching him do that with other girls right in front of me is hurtful and demeaning. Am I being too sensitive? Should I just accept his flirty behavior?
To be honest, flirting and checking out other chicks is just part of being a guy. It makes us feel like we’ve still got game, even if we’re in a relationship. But even though ifs normal for us to flex our muscles and crack stupid jokes around an attractive female, some guys take it too far. These guys tend to be so insecure that they need attention from as many women as possible. Your dude is one of them.
Not only is he obvious and kind of smarmy about it, but the fact that you find his behavior demeaning should be enough to convince him to rein it in. He says he would never cheat on you, but hello? By sizing up the waitress’s butt and sweet-talking your friends, he’s making you feel terrible, which is just as bad as screwing around. You’ve told him that it bothers you, but he doesn’t seem to give a damn about your feelings. So I think you have no choice but to issue him an ultimatum: Either he cuts the crap or you’ll cut him loose.

I’m dating a new guy who is great except for one thing: He always pulls away after sex. He tells me he needs to cool off for a while. He moves away or even leaves the room and tells me not to touch or talk to him for at least 20 minutes. It makes me feel bad. Plus, I like to cuddle afterward! Is this normal? And what can I do about it?
Ifs totally understandable why his “Ew, get away!” act is making you feel so badly. All you want to do is cuddle, and he’s acting like you have cooties. First off, let me reassure you that his behavior is actually quite common and definitely not anything to take personally. So why is he so standoffish after sex? I talked to a shrink who offered a possible explanation for this behavior: On a purely physical level, some guys become totally depleted after an orgasm. Endorphins that get released in his brain act like natural painkillers and zonk him out. As a result, he may just want to chill. And for many men, that doesn’t mean a 30-minute session of spooning and back tickling.
Another theory: When men have sex, we tend to let our guard down. But afterward, some of us wind up feeling embarrassed about exposing our emotions. To protect ourselves, we quickly put a wall back up in order to be less vulnerable. This could be the case with your guy.
The best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Say something like “I noticed that you don’t really want to cuddle after sex, which I can understand, but I need at least a little bit of affection from you. Is there something I can do to make you feel more comfortable with it?” Don’t tell him that he’s being a rude, emotionally closed jerk; don’t tell him what you think he’s feeling; don’t tell him you feel badly for him that he needs to shut down after sex. Instead, give him the chance to explain the reason he pulls back. Once you discuss where you both stand and come up with some solutions – like, say, just 10 minutes of snuggle time – you should be able to find a post carnal middle ground.

My friends and I always have this debate: If you’re on a date and he wants to hook up but you have your period, should you tell him the truth or make up an excuse?
If you’re talking about the early stages of dating, like the first couple of months, don’t even think about mentioning your monthly friend. It may seem perfectly natural to you, but for him, well, ifs kind of icky. Guys have a particularly dysfunctional relationship with your period. They want you to have it each month (unless you’re actively trying to have a kid); they just don’t want the gory details.
To let him know that tonight is not the night – without revealing the ins and outs of your menstrual cycle – I suggest using another physical ailment as an excuse. “I’m feeling a little nauseous after that dinner” is a good way to let him down without bruising his ego. Just be sure to follow up the next day with a flirty phone call or text message that lets him know you were bummed to end the night early. As long as you make up for it another time, he won’t care whether or not you were lying. Once you’re past the whole dating stage and well into a relationship, your dude should be able to handle the truth. If not, he’s too immature to be having sex in the first place.

I’ve been faking orgasms with my guy for months now. I kept thinking that I’d eventually have one, but it hasn’t happened yet and now I’m just getting frustrated. The worst part is, my beau keeps doing the same things over and over, and using tricks he thinks actually work on me. I want to show him how to please me, but I don’t know how to tell him without revealing the truth. How do I talk to him without crushing his ego?
Here’s something I’ve just never understood about women: Why they’re so afraid to give guys a little direction. Believe me, we appreciate the tips. How else are we supposed to learn the right way to pleasure you – by watching porn? You’d hate that.
And now, you’ve gone months with this guy, and he has yet to give you an orgasm. As much as you want to get off though, I think you’re right to tread lightly. If after all this time you tell him the moaning was just an act, you’re not only going to destroy his self-esteem, but he may never trust you in bed again.
Instead, I would just try and start with a clean slate. The next time you’re getting it on, tell your guy that you want him to try something different, and show him exactly what you like. Once he picks up on all the right moves, be sure to let him know how much you like it. If he reverts back to his old ways, gently suggest, “You know, I love what you did the other night – can we try that again?” With some turn-you-on training, your formerly so-so stud will become a rock star in the sack.