Meaning of Sex for Teenagers
I am an 18-year-old girl. I would like to know the pure meaning of sex. My boyfriend recently said, ‘If my wife fails to fulfill my desire, then I may rape her’. I was so shocked by his aggressive stance and mentality that I broke off with him. Some of my other friends too seem to think that sex is pure lust. I don’t see it like that but too many people around me are of this opinion. Am I the odd one out? Where does love figure in all this?
I do not really understand what you mean by ‘pure’ sex but I can tell you that in its most beautiful form, it’s an expression of love – tender, caring and sensual. Its basest form is plain lust – a mere physical act indulged in by people who may have no feelings for each other. It is up to you to decide how you want to experience it, with whom and when. Ideally, it should be an informed choice. Sex is also an act of responsibility because it comes with a lot of strings attached to it. With a person you love intensely, sex is spontaneous and natural – the culmination of your intense feelings for each other. There are other, not very healthy ways of looking at sex and different forms of media and literature could give you different ideas. But, you are clear that you do not want to be an object of lust, you are able to discern and you know what you want. You need not be in a hurry to explore it; patience pays. While sex is a biological act necessary for procreation, it is also a factor that bonds and keeps people in love together. It’s special and certainly should not cause you any distress. Some men do use sex as a means of aggression to make women submit but that is exactly what you should never allow to happen. Do not think so much about it. Let nature take its course. When you find true love, sex will take on a new meaning.
Sometimes when I’m having sex, my vagina makes a noise like I’m passing gas. It’s so embarrassing. What causes it and how can I prevent it?
This noisy emission, commonly referred to as a queef, is air escaping your vagina. “When you’re aroused, your vagina expands to allow room for your partner’s penis,” explains Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of Sex So Great She Can’t Get Enough. “His thrusting during intercourse pushes air into you, which fills the space in the inner part of your vagina that has expanded. A shift in body position or a deep thrust can force that air out, resulting in the fartlike sound.” It’s also possible to queef post-orgasm, when air is expelled as die vagina returns to its prearoused state.
While making a gassy sound can be mortifying, it’s actually common. But if it’s getting in the way of your pleasure, try these preventive tricks: First, “Lie on your back and gently press down on your abdomen with the palm of your hand prior to intercourse,” suggests Keesling. “This will expel air already present in your vagina.” During sex, encourage your guy to make shallow strokes, and avoid pelvis-elevated positions like doggie-style, which can increase queefing.
But it’s silly to let a little noise restrict your romp. So if you do toot, try to just laugh it off. Any guy worth sleeping with will do the same.